Thursday, September 28, 2006

A Rather Slippery Character

The Guardian is reporting that Alan Johnson is bowing out of the Labour leadership race and has decided to support Gordon Brown. The bit I love in the article is this:
The gossip is that Mr Johnson has decided against challenging the chancellor for the top job, but does not want to say so until Gordon has placed a friendly phone call.

I love the idea of him not officially standing down until Gordon calls him and says nice things. How on earth would that conversation go?

Download the audio here.


"Er, hi Alan it's Gordon"
"Gordon?"
"Gordon Brown"
"Oh Gordon. What a pleasant surprise."
"Yes... well Alan I wanted to say how much I admire you"
"Yes?"
"Oh yes. I've watched you often in Cabinet meetings and can't help but enjoy your clever comments and tales of fun from your days as a posty."
"Go on..."
"Well. I've, uh, heard from a friend of mine that you were thinking of running for leader."
"Uh huh."
"I was sort of hoping you wouldn't. We could be such good friends..."
"Uh huh"
"...and I was thinking of offering you the role of Home Secretary."
"Oh dear. I think that's the kettle."
"Did I say Home Secretary. I meant Chancellor"
"Excellent. Put it in writing and we can chat some more tomorrow. Thanks Gordy"
"Uh thanks."

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